Tightening, around your pulse;
I am a factory.
Breaths and blood,
Disease and disorders,
Nourishment and necessities
The smallest of hands,
The caricature of toes,
As you crystallize
I wrote this for Sunday Scribbling, for the “Captivate” Challenge.
On of my Twitter friends TERRILL WELCH shot the photo above. This is her daughter.
Terrill also links to the poem on her Redbubble Page.
Also post on: Wordsmith Wednesday–Sensory Description, Hearing
Also Posted on:
Posted on July 26, 2011, in Poetry, Sunday Scribblings and tagged alone, blood, breath, captivate, caricature, crystallize, disease, disorder, factory, necessities, nourishment, pregnancy, pregnant, red bubble, terrill, tighten, transforming, trusting, welch. Bookmark the permalink. 34 Comments.
this is beautiful!!
Beautiful poetry !
Loved these lines –
As you crystallize
Thanks for sharing 🙂
Still Expecting…while I’m anticipating your next work~ as always thought invoking~abounding creativity~rich~ 🙂
I think the picture does it. 🙂
New life is the essence of humanity – it’s the meaning of all that is perfect, beautiful and love.
Beautiful poem, beautiful message!
2 thumbs up Tammy 🙂
I do think the factory image is original and interesting. A lovely little poem…!
Love the imagry of the factory. A lovely poem!
being a guy i can only imagine the feel of life growing inside me…thanks for taking me there…
Very nicely written, a new birth reminds me a pure innocence. Great job!
I enjoyed this poem. “….Hands … Toes …. Pressing.” I remember the joys of seeing the belly grow, feeling feet pressing out….glorius women in full bloom with the baby inside. Crazy Daddy talking to the tummy with a smile. Thanks Tammy for playback!
You can’t imagine how great it is to hear from a complete stranger that I was able to tap into their memory in this way. Thanks for letting me know. Thanks for commenting on my blog.
Love that feeling of tiny feet pressing, simply beautiful
the caricature of toes… loved that line. loved the trusting at the end as well, really nice.
Beautiful, Tammy. Brings pleasant memories of my two daughters growing within. Thank you
that was really good such a good discription of life starting
Very nicely done. Perhaps I’m reading too much into it, which my mind has that tendency, but I look at the stanzas and can see a life-cycle within, where the longest stanza would reflect the younger, more formative years then goes to a 3 line stanza sequence I’d say for stages in adulthood, of course the first stanza only had 2 lines, not that it’s not important, but really those first 2 or 3 years, you are entirely reliant. Anyhow, really nice piece, thanks
‘I am a factory’ – wonderful. Love the short sentences and your precise word economy. Dig, y’all, dig
This made me miss being pregnant . . . almost.
Seriously, this is marvelous!
Wow. That’s some comment. Thanks.
I’ve never been pregnant so I can’t share memories but I loved your use of language – factory, charicatures, crystallize, captivate and the sentiment is wonderful.
Like Anna, I’ve never been pregnant but you do such a good job of expressing the experience for us. I especially love the stanza that begins “The smallest of hands…” What a thrill.
Glad you left another comment. I’d accessed your blog from the comment on e-mail instead of Mr. Linky so I got the wrong poem. Sorry, Bat-Ami. This is just stunning.
yes, a window to somewhere i haven’t been. lovely poem.
Rather powerful writing here. Each word packs a punch as the poem shares this incredible experience. Awesome.
crystallizing Into existence…what a beautiful way to describe this wonder..ah…always loved to be pregnant..
nice…so much emotion in having a child…the hope of new life, all the hopes and dreams…a lot of anxiousness, fear…the connection…you capture that well in your images
As you crystallize
Just beautiful! 😀
capturing matter-of-factly the conditional-connection
between a (factory) mother and (product) child,
in yet a tenderness.
The true wonder of the world, the real miracle of life, perfectly captured here.
This is one of my favorites of your, Bat-Ami, and it was a pleasure to read it again. It did allow the reader to experience what you felt.
I enjoyed the mix of organic images with the mechanical factory, coolly perfect crystal, and sketch-of-a-human caricature ones. The short lines and their shapes matched up well with the simplicity of the image, too.
Filled with such love and expectation. I really enjoyed this!
vivid, well done.