only in isolation
UncertainMe and all her AmbiguousValues
only in isolation
adjacently, it’s rough, in a jagged way,
as it tickles a bare shoulder;
it was just a breeze.
conceptually devoid when
listening retrospectively
an invention that both teaches
and transforms, maybe in a book.
at her next gathering, so complex
she validates the ultimate algorithm
housing in the rurals.
will she build using inherited space?
only in isolation:
environment
landscape
twisted air.
************************
This is being posted http://bluebellbooks.blogspot.com/2011/08/short-story-slam-week-8.html
Photo Credit:
http://untitledmoments.com/2011/08/12/for-uncertinme-and-all-her-ambiguousvalues/
Advertisements
Posted on August 26, 2011, in http://bluebellbooks.blogspot.com/, Poetry and tagged adjacently, algorithm, complex, environment, gatherig, housing, isolation, landscape, retrospectively, rurals, space, uncertain. Bookmark the permalink. 11 Comments.
Verification wastes my time, and often doesn't work. I am going to stop commenting on pages that require verification one of these days.
Bat-Ami this fits just right with tonight. Good to find your post as I get ready to shut down. Terrill 🙂
your words are magical, almost lyrical…beautiful
wonderful! Quite profound and thought-provoking….
Thanks for using the time and effort to write something so interesting.
My blog:
dsl anbieter dslvergleichdsl.com
So are you also Jacqueline Dick? Monikers aside, fine piece of poetry. Like the fact that you have kept it all lowercase and used punctuation cannily. Content is interesting and different enough to make it stand out but not render it abstruse or elitist (as it could have done if you’d handled writing about such things as algorithms differently).
Not sure about the repetition of ‘the’ that begin the final three lines. Repetition is a powerful aural device but hard to pull off using the definite article in most context in my humble opinion. L1S3 – ‘in her next gathering’ – surely ‘at her next gathering’? Or am I missing something? The preposition seems wrong here.
Strong piece, enjoyed v much
A very interesting poem! I like the conclusion it comes to, and the way it gets there. Seeing it without the repetition of ‘the’ in last three lines, it’s obviousLuke was right — the end is strong with just the three nouns, and also musical.
Good rewrite/edit. ‘Quite’ and ‘maybe’ (stanzas one and two respectively’ feel like ‘nothing words’ we overuse to death in everyday speech and actually signify very little in poetry. I’d be inclined consider finding alternative ways of rephrasing those.
Lovely word, Bat-Ami
yes – are you also jackie dick then…? somehow escaped my attention so far… i like the piece and looks like you already re-wrote it…would’ve been interesting to see how it looked before. i also like the musicality in this and what sticks out for me is the question…will she build using inherited space? i like this a lot..resonates in the echoes of the wind..very nice
I am not Jackie Dick.
It says on your copyright notice –
Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full, clear credit is given to Jacqueline Dick at 1emeraldcity with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Like the edit Bat-Ami, nice one
very well written,i like the last.