Train At Night
Train At Night
The slow surf beats
until the rocks
are pillows.
High tide
is a sigh.
Potent stars
defiantly battle
city lights.
The sandy beach
is exhibited
as a satin spread.
Vertigo is
the offspring
of the Island’s beacon
until a circle
of light
snaps in the horizon.
From miles beyond
the vain beam gropes for
reflective metals
embedded in the cliffs.
When the angle
is just right
the spherical ray
ignites
the lonely shores.
Like a clap
of thunder
a whistle warns.
Stillness.
The chug captures
every
biological pulse.
The cars’ silhouettes
grow and diminish
in the wake
of the winds.
At the tail
Everything
along the parallel avenue
Defies gravity
then
breathlessly
settles into place.
The sounds slip
behind another hill.
************************
Written for:
D’verse Poets
Challenge posted by Claudia Schoenfeld
Photo from Moonlight at Albermarle Sound, Edenton, NC
I wrote this in 1992, when I was living in Edwards, WA. It was inspired by the way the train coming down the tracks, by Puget Sound.
Posted on September 17, 2011, in D’verse Poets Pub, Poetry and tagged beach, beacon, chug, dverse, dverse poets club, exhibited, island, night, sandy, satin, silhouettes, surf, tide, trains, vertigo, wake, warns, whistle, wind. Bookmark the permalink. 30 Comments.
Verification wastes my time, and often doesn't work. I am going to stop commenting on pages that require verification one of these days.
you create a beautiful and mystical atmosphere with your words here…the whistle…the sand..satin…lonely shores….a beautiful night ride…
this is a gorgeous piece…your opening stanza is a perfect grabber…and loved how you played it out…down to the end and the sounds slipping behind the next hill…great take on the prompt!
Perfect capture of the rapture.
This is really beautiful. The combination of very direct and precise description, yet with a mystical/psychological feel. I especially love the pillow rocks and vertigo beacon.
Beautiful and flowing… the first couple of stanzas really set the dreamy mood.
you took us on a most mystical and magic ride…wonderful
It really is about the sound…slipping away behind another hill. Nice
There is a kind of suspense that builds, peaks and then subsides “as everything settles breathlessly into place.” I didn’t know if the train was going to make it or not. Good poem.
Strong layers make this an interseting read with all the intensity – i was rapt
Wonderful effort into this piece. The ride was great. I heard the wheels on the tracks.
I hear the sounds and lights as the train moves at night.
I like these lines:
When the angle
is just right
the spherical ray
ignites
the lonely shores.
Thanks for sharing this ~
Definitely both a visual and an aural piece–meticulous and effective.
Very nice imagery, great choice of words, sensory words, really enjoyed, thanks
Its beautiful…love it!
A wonderful piece… love how the surf and sands become satin blanketing the world beyond the window. Beautiful.
Pretty cool. My only problem was, I didn’t get a sense of where you were, relative to the train….
does it matter?
Like a clap
of thunder
a whistle warns.
Stillness.
The chug captures
every
biological pulse.
This is a really alive verse among a well executed poem.
This is a train in the deep of the dark, almost too far away to hear moving with sound but a sound only imagined as one sees it, hears it almost subconsciously drifting off to sleep as it goes past the last curve hidden by the hills. Gorgeous, fluid, real. G.
Your comment is so poetic.
A terrific poem– rich in detail, nicely nuanced. xxxxj
haunting =)
Atmospheric moment captured
Enjoyed the movement you captured in words with this, lovely write ~ Rose
You have really made this train journey come alive. Beautiful wording and images.
Excellent. Beautiful flow and imagery here. “Vertigo is / the offspring / of the Island’s beacon”, and “The chug captures every / biological pulse” are just a few of my favorite passages.
This felt like a surreal description with magic fluttering just below the surface of your words.
Magic fluttering just below the surface sounds the like the rhythm section in music.
Your opening line hooked me from the beginning and took me on a beautiful ride.
breathlessly
settles into place.
The sounds slip
behind another hill
such a beautifully written piece. Thank you.