alive on subway senryu

168th Street Subway Station NYC

alive on subway senryu

space feels close to hell
rumbling underground death-trap
did not plunge today

public platform
exacerbating delays
softening subway

speeding through tunnels
boundary between two spots
modern convenience

people feel alive
navigating city streets
defying traffic

exist on subway
surrounded by city folk
heading to their homes

routine daily nap
wake-up at destination
good use of subway


Written for:

Poetics: New view for you

Prompt, by @cmschoenfeld, was to “have some fun and write subway poems.”

Also written for:

Prompt #127 – ALIVE

Also posted on:

Wordless Wednesday

Photo Credit: roniweiss – flicker page © All Rights Reserved

About zongrik

For those of you who do not know the handle "zongrik," that would be Bat-Ami Gordin. Most people call me "Tammy." Bat-Ami means "daughter of my nation" in Hebrew. It's a heavy name to carry around. I answer to either name. I also answer to "mama." Some Basic Things about me: Animal lover, mom, poet/writer, dramatic soprano, photographer, teacher/tutor, CERT/Technician and, oh yeah, aerospace engineer. I consider myself "The Astro-Poet." To learn more about the origins of the word "zongrik" see whats-a-zongrik?

Posted on April 15, 2012, in Animal, Birds, Carry On Tuesday, D’verse Poets Pub, Poetry and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 42 Comments.

  1. smiles…it’s good to wake up when you reached the destination…i once was riding the bus in sydney…and well…i didn’t wake up…smiles..

  2. These destinations that fleet in between wakefulness and sleep, what is the reality, what the dream?

  3. ha…as long as you do wake up…up i have def slept on the morning commute, in the subway…or nodded until i got there too concerned i might miss it…

  4. Reminds me of my years in NYC travelling the subway from the Bronx to Brooklyn or just to Manhattan, I’d take tapes of my college lectures and try to listen to them on the train, ready for my classes…

  5. I think that I would have to be REALLY tired to sleep on a subway!

  6. Subway…….alien to me..!! but its alive in your words …:)

  7. Now that’s one thing I’d probably do; take a nap!
    Love this, one, Zongrik. Fast-paced; seems like that’s how the subway would feel!

  8. LOL I was always way too wound up to even think of sleeping, besides with only a few minutes between getting on and getting off, it would deff have to be 40 winks and no longer 🙂

  9. I find it’s a strange kind of waking sleep in that I’m still aware of where I am and what stations I’m at/near

  10. I really like the way the senryu’s can stand alone, but also how well they coincided with one another here. fantastic job. Thanks

  11. routine daily nap
    wake-up at destination
    good use of subway

    It’s a very useful way to spend your time in the subway!!!

  12. ‘So often I slept in the subway on my way to school or work. The rumbling of the train just lulls us.
    I loved these senryu’s. I never heard of this form, but you certainly write well. And I agree that they can all stand alone.

  13. Like a series of vignettes in a staged journey illustrating the pauses and actions in being alive! Lovely!

  14. I take a lot of naps too ~ Nice view of the subway ~

  15. poemsofhateandhope

    Great observations all the way! And all squeezed into the form you master so well? My fave-

    people feel alive
    navigating city streets
    defying traffic

  16. Your poem reminds me of how removed I am from modern day life.Toing an froing on public transport. How millions lead their lives.While the primitive poor(moi) just contemplate stars in the wilderness:)

  17. You captured the subway beautifully.

  18. Love the rhythm of this.

  19. Very nice senryu and great image!
    Thanks for sharing;o)

    Hope you are having a very nice week****

  20. Sadly, I don’t think I’ve ever been on a Subway! lol.

    WW w/LINKY!

  21. Great photo and poem – love your originality! Thanks for sharing at Wordless Wed at Create With Joy!

  22. Great poem and photo – such originality! Thanks for sharing at Wordless Wed at Create With Joy!

  23. I’ve not ridden a subway since London, 1999. It is a nice way to be whisked to and fro on, your poem took me back to the sounds and sights of it!

  24. We don’t have subways in my city, so it’s always a treat to ride one.

  25. Yours could make me think twice about venturing down into the depths. Fine poem, though.

  26. Great Picture and a very good text, I like it 🙂

  27. Nice photo, reminded me of the tunels in London.

  28. I haven’t been on a subway in years!

    Have a great WW

  29. I love it! Have you ever not woken up?

  30. I had to chuckle a little. Sounds like a love/hate relationship with the Subway. Very cool poem. Your picture compliments the poem very well.

  31. Subways scare me! Like the poem 🙂

    Thanks for stopping by yesterday and linking up for WW!


  32. Great shot, nice poem..Thank’s for sharing..

    Visiting for Wordless Wednesday- hope you can stop by:)

  33. maid of honour toasts
    I really do find it entertaining looking at all these blog posts.

  34. I guess the nap is the best thing to do in the subway, apart from reading, of course 🙂 Well-put!

  35. I am late in making the rounds this week (thanks for your comment at my blog) and in a way I am glad for it, because your part about napping on the subway was in the news last evening. Evidently, officials have determined that if one sleeps on the subway one is more prone to be robbed. Duh, do ya think?!!!!!

  36. that’s exactly how i felt when i took the elevated train in chicago. a quick snooze without missing my stop was a little beautiful gift in my day.

  37. 1emeraldcity

    haven’t used subway in over a decade…Always felt like a mole when underground and your poetry reminds me of my cag and happiness to be free of that.

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