alive on subway senryu
alive on subway senryu
space feels close to hell
rumbling underground death-trap
did not plunge today
public platform
exacerbating delays
softening subway
speeding through tunnels
boundary between two spots
modern convenience
people feel alive
navigating city streets
defying traffic
exist on subway
surrounded by city folk
heading to their homes
routine daily nap
wake-up at destination
good use of subway
*****************************
Written for:
Poetics: New view for you
Prompt, by @cmschoenfeld, was to “have some fun and write subway poems.”
Also written for:
Also posted on:
Photo Credit: roniweiss – flicker page © All Rights Reserved
Posted on April 15, 2012, in Animal, Birds, Carry On Tuesday, D’verse Poets Pub, Poetry and tagged : claudia schoenfeld, dversepoets, MTA, MTA verse, NYC, NYC subway vers, poetry prompt, prompted verse, roni weiss, sleeping on subway, subway, subway haiku, subway senryu, subway verse, wordless wednesday. Bookmark the permalink. 42 Comments.
smiles…it’s good to wake up when you reached the destination…i once was riding the bus in sydney…and well…i didn’t wake up…smiles..
These destinations that fleet in between wakefulness and sleep, what is the reality, what the dream?
ha…as long as you do wake up…up i have def slept on the morning commute, in the subway…or nodded until i got there too concerned i might miss it…
Reminds me of my years in NYC travelling the subway from the Bronx to Brooklyn or just to Manhattan, I’d take tapes of my college lectures and try to listen to them on the train, ready for my classes…
I think that I would have to be REALLY tired to sleep on a subway!
you get used to it. it’s a good way to spend the time and take a nap. when you are used to it, you always wake up.
Subway…….alien to me..!! but its alive in your words …:)
Now that’s one thing I’d probably do; take a nap!
Love this, one, Zongrik. Fast-paced; seems like that’s how the subway would feel!
LOL I was always way too wound up to even think of sleeping, besides with only a few minutes between getting on and getting off, it would deff have to be 40 winks and no longer 🙂
I find it’s a strange kind of waking sleep in that I’m still aware of where I am and what stations I’m at/near
I really like the way the senryu’s can stand alone, but also how well they coincided with one another here. fantastic job. Thanks
routine daily nap
wake-up at destination
good use of subway
It’s a very useful way to spend your time in the subway!!!
‘So often I slept in the subway on my way to school or work. The rumbling of the train just lulls us.
I loved these senryu’s. I never heard of this form, but you certainly write well. And I agree that they can all stand alone.
Like a series of vignettes in a staged journey illustrating the pauses and actions in being alive! Lovely!
I take a lot of naps too ~ Nice view of the subway ~
Great observations all the way! And all squeezed into the form you master so well? My fave-
people feel alive
navigating city streets
defying traffic
Your poem reminds me of how removed I am from modern day life.Toing an froing on public transport. How millions lead their lives.While the primitive poor(moi) just contemplate stars in the wilderness:)
You captured the subway beautifully.
Love the rhythm of this.
Last line is the twist..
Very nice senryu and great image!
Thanks for sharing;o)
***
Hope you are having a very nice week****
Sadly, I don’t think I’ve ever been on a Subway! lol.
Brandi
http://www.yeewittlethings.blogspot.ca
WW w/LINKY!
Great photo and poem – love your originality! Thanks for sharing at Wordless Wed at Create With Joy!
Great poem and photo – such originality! Thanks for sharing at Wordless Wed at Create With Joy!
I’ve not ridden a subway since London, 1999. It is a nice way to be whisked to and fro on, your poem took me back to the sounds and sights of it!
We don’t have subways in my city, so it’s always a treat to ride one.
http://joycelansky.blogspot.com/2012/04/wordless-wednesday-meets-atoz-oh-no.html
Yours could make me think twice about venturing down into the depths. Fine poem, though.
Great Picture and a very good text, I like it 🙂
Nice photo, reminded me of the tunels in London.
I haven’t been on a subway in years!
Have a great WW
POSH
I love it! Have you ever not woken up?
not that i can recall
I had to chuckle a little. Sounds like a love/hate relationship with the Subway. Very cool poem. Your picture compliments the poem very well.
Subways scare me! Like the poem 🙂
Thanks for stopping by yesterday and linking up for WW!
Paula
lifeasweknowitbypaula.blogspot
i’m glad the poem(s) didn’t scare you
Great shot, nice poem..Thank’s for sharing..
Visiting for Wordless Wednesday- hope you can stop by:)
http://www.loveablecassandra.com/2012/04/hunting-for-more-eggs.html
maid of honour toasts
I really do find it entertaining looking at all these blog posts.
I guess the nap is the best thing to do in the subway, apart from reading, of course 🙂 Well-put!
I am late in making the rounds this week (thanks for your comment at my blog) and in a way I am glad for it, because your part about napping on the subway was in the news last evening. Evidently, officials have determined that if one sleeps on the subway one is more prone to be robbed. Duh, do ya think?!!!!!
that’s exactly how i felt when i took the elevated train in chicago. a quick snooze without missing my stop was a little beautiful gift in my day.
Beautiful shot..
Visiting for WW- hope you can stop by:)
http://dsahmblogs.com/2012/04/wordless-wednesday-home-depot-kids-workshop.html
haven’t used subway in over a decade…Always felt like a mole when underground and your poetry reminds me of my cag and happiness to be free of that.