Drunken Driving Limerick

Most intoxicated drivers have a false sense of security, since alcohol eliminates people’s inhibitions, they never think they will cause an accident or actually be arrested. Many don’t even realize they are drunk when they get behind the wheel; it takes just a few drinks to push someone over the legal limit.

Drunken driving will always impair
your perception of getting here or there.
It’s a big hullabaloo,
when a policeman stops you,
and you act like you’re walking on air.

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Written for:

The Role Of Limericks (Limerick-Off Monday)

Image credits:   duilawyersnow.org

Upside Down Flying Limerick

Open Cockpit Stunt Plane, Over the Stunning Abel Tasman National Park Coastline

At altitude that’s a little too high,
John flew upside down in the sky.
When the turbulence started,
He accidentally farted
“The dog did it,” said the pilot wise guy.

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Photo Credit:   The Abel Tasman

Egg Roll Limerick

Egg Roll

When choosing to eat an egg roll
consider the calorie toll.
11 grams of fat —
just think about that!
if you must limit bad Cholesterol.

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Hear this on chirbit

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Written for:

The Role Of Limericks (Limerick-Off Monday)

Image Credit: Bat-Ami Gordin  © 2013 all rights reserved, credit if you use it, please.

Gripping Girdle Limerick

Woman Contortionist Tying Her Corset

A woman was attempting to tie
as she twisted her torso and thigh.
All guys who are straight
long to take her on a date
because she’s so nimble and spry.

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Written for:

Limerick Tie (Limerick-Off Monday)

Image from Freaking News –   Funny Tied Pictures

Sleeping Judge Limerick

Judge Yevgeny Makhno of Blagoveshchensk City Court in Russia’s Far East was forced to resign Friday for obviously falling asleep several times while trying a businessman on charges of fraud.

A magistrate was recently canned
as the defense was taking a stand.
In a former slave state
with a high conviction rate
judges shouldn’t take naps that aren’t planned!

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Hear this on chirbit

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Written for:

Canned Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)

Image from KyivPost

Cinderella Limerick

Prince Contemplating What to Do Next Regarding Glass Slipper

Cinderella Limerick

A prince stepped out into the hall.
he was leaving a very big ball.
He carried her slipper
that fell when he tripped her.
To return it, he must not forestall.

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Written for:

Crowing About Limericks (Limerick-Off Monday)

Also posted on

Also posted on:

Poetics – Modern Day Mythology

Image from Cinderilla or The Little Glass Slipper

Treasurer Limerick

Treasurer Limerick

The Treasurer had to eat crow
when he did not have enough dough
he tried to cut spending
excess borrowing and lending
but the economy just wouldn’t grow.

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Hear this on chirbit

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Written for:

Crowing About Limericks (Limerick-Off Monday)

Also posted on:

Open Link Night ~ Week 79

Also posted on

Image from Econfix

Dogs in Casinos Limerick

Phyllis Pette, of New York, hugs her dog, Baci, a 10-year-old Maltese, while near the slot machines inside the Showboat Casino Hotel in Atlantic City. The casino becomes the first in Atlantic City to allow hotel customers to bring their dogs.

A woman was shooting the breeze
Playing at the casino with much ease
She pulled at Jim Blake’s
And entered sev’ral sweepstakes
While holding her cute little loving Maltese.

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Written for:

Quest Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)

Image from Showboat becomes first Atlantic City casino to adopt a pet-friendly attitude

Yoga Teacher Limerick

Scorpion on downward facing dog

the yoga teacher was planning to wed
a bridegroom built like a thoroughbred
he wanted to dance
but she went into a trance
then did downward facing dog on his head

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Written for:

Quest Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)

Also posted on:

Y ask Y?…. Y Not ask Y Not?

Image from © 2012 sugar inc.

Tanorexic Limerick

Patricia Krentcil – “Tan Mom”

a young daughter was taken to tan
at a salon with a monthly pay plan
as the girl took her turn
she sustained quite a burn
now mom could spend time in the state can

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Written for:

Quest Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)

Also posted on:

T is for……..

Image from © 2012 HLNtv.com Turner Broadcasting System, Inc. All Right Reserved.