Done For…
touch-of-evil
Done For…
engaging gang-bang battle.
dis-organized crime – wave of fist.
wasted – without end.
fried, fragged, flatlined.
cum-back, fight s’more
suicide addiction.
beer bottle abrasion.
brass-knuckle battle.
bruises, bites –
tribulations.
take it like ur happi
one day its fisticuffs;
next time, pistol to head.
smeared, spoiled, snuffed.
tie that toe tag tight.
see ya in the boneyard
**************************
Hear this
on chirbit
**************************
Written for:
Magpie Tales – Mag 123
Also posted on:
Open Link Night – Week 50
Posted on June 24, 2012, in D’verse Poets Pub, Magpie Tales, Poetry and tagged chirbit, dVerse Poets Pub, dversepoets, gangster poetry, gangster verse, Magpie Tales, online poetry, Poetry Blogroll, poetry prompt, poetry sharing, suicide addiction, writing prompt. Bookmark the permalink. 47 Comments.
Verification wastes my time, and often doesn't work. I am going to stop commenting on pages that require verification one of these days.
ZONGRIK 
Yikes, this one pulls no punches, does it! Knuckle dusters n all LOL
I hear you rapping. 🙂
I like the snappy fast paced words until the sarcastic end ~ See ya ~
RYN: I was the one who was bullied …LOL
Oh you have a great rhythm going! thanks for sharing it!
I was a misfit, never bothered to try and be in with the ‘in crowd’ I was also chubby, scruffy, poor. So, yes, I was picked on. But, I didn’t care. I had a couple of good friends and I was myself and wouldn’t pretend to be anything but me. 😉
So sad but true…often time this sort of behavior can lead to an unfortunate demise. Nicely depicted!!
Striking, sharp write!
“See ya in the boneyard,” I like that.
suicide addiction…sometimes i think there are those that have that…always brewing for a fight and never really knowing what they are getting themselves into…nice write ma’am
always good to see you ma’am…smiles.
Lots of nice textures here…fun to read…
ha i had not noticed the voice before…that is awesome…you have a fun and great reading voice…
I love this!!! It is awesome. 🙂
“fried, fragged, flatlined”
“suicide addiction”
“bruises, bites –
tribulations.
take it like ur happi
one day its fisticuffs”
“tie that toe tag tight.
see ya in the boneyard”
LOL … Soooo good!
No way, I don’t want to go to the bone yard! 🙂
An explosion of aggression! You expressed it very vividly. It ends in the boneyard! Well, I wish you a very peaceful week! Thanks for the visit and the comment. It must be very wonderful to read at a readingtable for a bat mitswa!
Straight in there and let ’em have it! I like the style.
This would be a great text for a heavy metal song! 🙂
you are a very gifted poet. You really can put it in words. I wish I can be like you, but my English vocabulary is limited. Anyway, thanks for visiting my site:)
Very honest and descriptive! This is one of my favorites so far.
Hard hitting and right on.
=)
Yeah i see death too, Zongrik, great poem .
Glad you linked this one; it’s really good.
Lovely use of language and listening to the audio was a delight.
{Ami}
http://sundrysumthins.wordpress.com/
love your reading…you’re quite the actor and your sense of humor shines through your voice…what a treat!
thanks. i couldn’t wait till you heard my voice because i always like it when you put a recording up. so it means a lot to me that you liked my voice. (i’ve taken a considerable amount of acting, but i don’t act, and i’ve done a lot of vocal training)
Jeez you’re one tough chick 🙂
This is cool … you really caught the tone of these two thugs! Good going. For Magpie Tales: http://crowsfete.blogspot.com/2012/06/no-fear.html
very cool. The reading is freaking awesome, love the voices and intonations. Really fun.
If there could be such a thing as “alley poetry” this would be a wonderful example! Raw sense of alternative society!
O Gawd! You had such fun with this gangsta stuff…How I enjoyed listening to you here, Tammy!…Yeah…See ya’ in the boneyard! hahahahahaha! Love it!
Ha! Well read and well performed. 😀 I didn’t expect that!
I meant i didn’t expect it to be read in such a manner — very comic book cartoon-style.
We’re in for a big fight and we come well prepared. Great take Tammy!
Hank
Brilliant!!
Who envisions, ‘tie that toe tag tight’? So brilliantly clever. Great textures, and an equally great message. Thanks for sharing this, Zongrik.
Hey! Hey! I have to agree with Linda- it really is a fabulous line! Big smiles Zongrik!
Wow! Fast paced and snappy – absolutely adore the way you recited the last line! Brilliant!.
You’re on a roll! This wonderful also. I love the dis-organized crime. Very well paced. k.
Great rhythm
You did a fantastic job with this prompt. I couldn’t seem to get started on it 🙂
Great to hear you; that was hilarious. My silent read was much more menacing, yours made it fun. 🙂
Have to say, unique, I loved this! So much energy, thrilling! xoxo
As always… you have a unique voice.
This was quick paced, my heart beat fast as I read it, smiling I must say.
tnx for the comment, but, i don’t understand if that was that a pun? did you hear my voice?
Really well done!
whew – the mood is perfectly ganster. nice work!